If I Were The Benign Dictator of Opticians (BDO)

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics every frame would come with a case that the frame would actually fit in. If a company fails to provide this I get one of the CEO’s summer villas, one of his Ferraris, and one of his mistresses.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics the frame designer would have to actually cut and mount a series of both plus and minus lenses in their own frame. Failing to do so would result in their having to wear, in public, a hideous dark zyl frame with a 60 eye for the period of one year.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics any frame containing stones, accessories, attachments, or bling would come with a guarantee that the stone, accessories, attachment or bling would not to fall off for the period of one year and if they do the patient and ECP get to sue the frame company for emotional damages.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics demo lenses would have the manufacturer markings on the right lens instead of the left. That way I would not have to mark my semi-rimless work for tracing with the lensometer or a pen and then end up getting ink all over my fingers.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics all manufacturer POP would be hand delivered by the representatives and contain no packaging of any kind. I’m tired of filling the dumpster up every time I get a new dispensing card. If the frame company sends me four cubic feet of wrapping for a 3” X 4” polycarbonate block with their name on it I will start using it to cover their frame lines on the board.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics uncut progressive lenses coming back from the lab would have clear markings and a nice clear R and L. Lenses returned without markings would subject the lab worker to two minutes in a tank of piranhas.

If I were the Benign Dictator of Optics if you are the engineer signing off on the latest and greatest lens design you would actually have to wear the lens for a period of one year. Failure to wear the lens would result in your being thrown in a dumpster of hungry weasels.